Difference Between Love and Infatuation

Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?

There is a big difference between Love and infatuation. Some people can’t tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.
Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying.
But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.
Infatuation says, “We must get married right away. I can’t risk losing them.”
Love says, “Be patient. Don’t panic. Plan your future with confidence.”
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.
Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When they’re away, you wonder if they’re cheating. Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.
Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up.
It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don’t have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

INFATUATION
Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person “fall into” infatuation, but “grows into” real love.
Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you’d faint?
This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don’t know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.
Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.
Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.
Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation.
This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if
you are truly in love.

LOVE
Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated “patient” means to wait patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.
When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.
Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.
It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
Love is Kind Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others..
It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.
You can do the following:
Give one another things such as gifts and encouragement cards.
Compliment one another. Magnify the other party’s strength.
Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.
Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.
Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, “If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget
about me!” Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.
Love is not about bragging. Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.
Love is Not Arrogant. Love is not conceited, boastful,cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an “I can take you or leave you” attitude. His demeanour implies, “You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you.” Of course, this is not love.
Love always covers. This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential.
Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn’t criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others.
Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.
Love always Perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.
Love is Not Provoked. This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.
Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self- centred. Love says, “I love you, I want to give to you.” Selfishness says, “I love you, I want you!”
Love does not act unbecomingly. This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manner. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl, or offering her your arm when you walk together.
Lastly, Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn’t hold grudges when it has been
wronged. It doesn’t remain resentful.
** Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins. **

Top, Bottom or Versatile?

If you’ve ever been in a gay chat room or discussion forum, chances are you’ve been asked if you were a top, bottom, versatile top or versatile bottom. These descriptors not only reference sexual roles, but represent the behavior in gay relationships. Some gay men prefer to identify themselves by these labels, while others prefer a more loose interpretation of their sexual preferences and relationship roles.

What do these labels mean?

Top -The penetrating partner during anal sex.

Bottom -Term used to describe the partner who is penetrated during anal sex.

Versatile -A versatile gay man enjoys a shared dominance in gay relationships. They are comfortable being the dominant partner, passive partner or both.

During sex, versatile men enjoy being either a top or bottom.

Versatile Top -A versatile top is comfortable with a shared dominance in gay relationships; however sexually, enjoy being a top more than a bottom.

Versatile Bottom -A versatile bottom is comfortable with a shared dominance in gay relationships; however sexually, enjoy being a bottom more than a top.

How do you know if a person is a top, bottom, or versatile?

Despite the many stereotypes and generalizations about gay sex, there is only one easy way to find out your potential partner’s sexual role- ask him (of course, at the appropriate time)! Keep in mind, however, that some men prefer not to label themselves.

Why are you being asked to label yourself?

Unlike the traditional generalizations of sexual compatibility in straight relationships, when two men are involved it is difficult to determine sexual compatibility before meeting. For instance, if a guy prefers to bottom (or be penetrated) during anal sex, then he will more than likely want a guy that prefers to top.

One again, there are no absolutes when it comes to each individuals sexual preferences. Some men use these descriptors as a mere guide, while others see them as a necessary piece of information before sex or dating.

How to ask your partner about his sexual preference.

Most men in chat rooms or message boards choose to explicitly ask if their prospect is top, bottom or versatile. Years ago (before gay men were able to find other men online), non-verbal signals were used to disclose their preferences. For example, if a band, earring, tattoo or other jewelry was on the right side, it signified a bottom. If they were on the left, then the guy was a top. Gay men also wore colors to signify certain sexual practices. Wearing these colors on the left or right would alert their partners if they were a top or bottom respectively. These non-verbal signs are rarely used today due to the internet and the ability for gay men to communicate and meet in other non-threatening environments.

DIBORSYO: PASADO o PERWISYO SA PAMILYANG PILIPINO?

            KASAL. Sagradong sakramento. Ang mga Pilipinong pinagsasama ng sakramentong kasal ay di daw mapaghihiwalay dahil may basbas daw ito ng Poong Maykapal. Paano kung dumating si PROBLEMA? Paano kung biglang nawala si LOVE at si TIWALA? Paano kung nasira si RESPETO? Sagrado pa rin bang maituturing ang pamilyang winasak na ng sakuna? Inalisan na ng tiwala? Inalisan na ng pagmamahal? At inalisan na ng respeto sa isa't isa?

            Ang PAGPAPAKASAL ay hindi kaning mainit na isusubo at iluluwa pag napaso. Dapat pinag-paplanuhan. Dapat pinag-uusapang mabuti. Aminado tayo na hindi mawawala ang pagsubok sa buhay. Andyan si SAKAL, KABET, BISYO, at HAGUPIT NG KAMAO. Pero hindi lahat ng oras ay kaya natin ang sakit na dulot na ito. Bibigay at bibigay din tayo. Manlalamig din tayo sa karelasyon natin. Mapapagod umintindi at magpapatawad. At sa huli MAGHIHIWALAY. Paano na ang pamilya pag di magkasundo ang ILAW at HALIGI   ng tahanan? MAHIRAP! Kaya dapat may DIBORSYO tayo dito sa Pilipinas. Hindi para mag-asawa ng marami. Hindi para palit dito, palit doon. Kundi para sa ligtas na kapakanan ng bawat isa. Para sa tunay na kalayaan. Oo nga't sagrado at mahirap ito pero dapat ilagay sa lugar. Paan kung yung mga pinakasalan dahil lang nakabuntis? Paano yung pinagsamang wala namang tunay na nararamdaman para sa isa't isa?  Oo nga't pwedeng pag-aralan ang pagmamahal pero hindi sa lahat ng oras. Dahil ang pagmamahal kusang nararamdaman. Hindi hinahanap kundi hinihintay. Pagsasamahin ng pagmamahal ang dalawang tao, anu man ang estado ng pamumuhay, pagkatao, at pag-uugali nito. Walang LAWS at RULES. REAL FEELINGS LANG.

          Dapat lang ang diborsyo sa Pilipinas. Malaya kang hiwalayan ang walang kwenta, adik at nananakit  mong asawa. Malaya kang hiwalayan ang asawa mong pumapatong sa iba't ibang kanlungan. Malaya kang ipagmalaki na BABAE ka na dapat irespeto, igalang, at mahalin. Hindi ka dapat sinasaktan, binubugbog, o pinapalitan. Dahil isa kang biyaya. Kung may diborsyo, walang balita tungkol sa mag-asawang nag-sasaksakan. Walang balitang may #2, #3, o #4 si mister/misis. Walang balitang binubugbog si misis. Mabubuhay ang lahat ng walang pangamba. Walang takot. at higit sa lahat, malaya kang pipili at magmamahal ng taong kaya kang irespeto, igalang, at mahalin ng libusan. Ihaharap ka sa altar at buong pusong sasambitin ang salitang I DO. Tanggap ang nakaraan mo at pilit kinukulayan ang hinaharap mo.

          Ngayon IKAW ang tatanungin ko, PABOR KA BA SA DIBORSYO? Kung hindi, kaya ba ng konsensya mo na makita ang kumare mo na binubugbog ng mister nya? Kaya mo ba ng konsensya mo na makita ang kumpare mong may asawang 2 o higit pa? Kung oo, ano pang hinihintay mo? Hindi makakatulong ang pag-upo mo. Ipagsigawan mong PABOR KA NA MAGKAROON NG DIBORSYO SA PILIPINAS. ITO ANG TUNAY NA PAGBABAGO.

I need someone to call when I'm feeling blue
I need someone to love who's like you
I need someone now, yes it's true
I really need someone and it's you!

I want to see again the stars in your eyes
Just to forget my million cries
Let me hear again the beat of your heart
Although I know you love me not!

Stay with me just even as friend
Stay with me until the end
I pray to GOD who sits above
To let you feel my hidden love!





_-joshua mendoza-_
(pra sau to mahal ko...)
(can i have you back)
='(

Mainam nga ba ang Love at first sight?

Maraming relasyon ang nag-sisimula sa atraksyon. Sabi nga nila; "Love At First Sight". Pag-ibig sa unang pagkikita. Yung biglang pagtibok ng puso sa isang tao kahit hindi pa ito lubos na nakikilala. Una, ang pagkagusto sa pisikal bago ang lubusang pagkahulog ng damdamin dahil sa tunay na pag-ibig.
Sabi'y walang masam kung magkagustuhan man ang dalawang nilalang kahit sa una palang nilang pagkikita. Doon din naman patungo ang ang lahat kung magkakaigihan.
Gayunman, maraming relasyon na nagsisimula sa Love at First Sight ang hindi naging maayos ang takbo ng relasyon hanggang sa bandang huli. O masasabing sa umpisa lang naging maayos ang lahat.
Sa biglang tingin, talagang masasabing perpekto na ang nagugustuhan kasi puro natural na yung maganda at mainam lang muna ang nakita. Puro kapuri-puri at talaga namang mahuhulog ang loob lalo na kung taglay nito ang mga hinahanap sa isang ideyal na kapareha.
Pero sa katagalan nga ng magkaigihan, magkasama at paulit-ulit na ang pagkikita, nakikita na kung ano ang "DEEP WITHIN". Yung kapangitan. Hindi man bulok, sadyang mawawalan ka ng gana at mawawala pati na ang atraksyong nadama nung una.
Makikita ang tunay na pag-katao ng kapareha. Maaaring higit na ang maganda o sa kamalasan, ang kapangitan nito.
Hindi masamang gustuhin natin ay magaganda't gwapo. Gustuhin ng mga macho't sexy. Beauty na with brains pa. May sense of humor at iba pang magagandang katangian na inaasam sanang maging kapareha.
Sa paninimbang sa nakikita ng mata at nadarama, mas madalas na nag-kakamali tayo kapag higit na pinanaig natin ay ang nakikita ng ating mga mata.
Kasi mas gusto natin ay kaparehang maipagmamalaki sa marami at nababalewala ang tunay na pagtibok ng puso.
Lagi nang sinasabi; "nawawala at lumilipas ang ganda hindi ang tunay na kabutihan ng loob at pagkatao." Ganito rin sa pag-ibig, kung magiging batayan sa pag-pili ng kapareha ay ang panlabas nito, maaaring isang araw ay mawala na ang damdamin o pag-ibig sa kapareha dahil sa pagkatuklas sa pangit na katangian nito sa loob.
Hindi naman natin masasabing hindi mahalaga ang panlabas na kagandahan. Ngunit mas higit na mahalaga ang kalooban upang lalong mahalin ang kapareha.


_-joshua mendoza-_

pag-ibig ay SUGAL!

"LOVE IS A GAMBLE", totoo ito sa literal na pakahulugan. Hindi nga ba't nakikipag-sugal tayo sa pag-ibig upang makuha natin ang ating gustong makasama at maging maligaya tayo sa buhay. At gaya nga ng sugal; may panalo at may talo.
Nagagawa nating itaya ang lahat nang ganang sa atin nang sa gayon ay maging sigurado ang ating pagka-panalo.
Sa lagawan palang na babae at lalaki; dumadaan na ng sugal ang lalaki.
Ipinapakita't ipinahihiwatig na nya ang kanyang nararamdaman. Maraming pangako ang sinasabi upang lalong makumbinsi ang ang babaeng nililigawan.
Kumbaga, inilalatag na nya ang lahat ng kanyang magagandang baraha para siguradong magugustuhan na sya ng babae.
Habang ang babae pinipintahan pa lang nya ang kanyang manliligaw. Hindi lahat ay agad na tinatanggap. Sinisigurado ang kulay ng barahang kinakaharap.
Sa ligawan palang ito. Paano kaya pag nagka-sagutan na?
Dito sa stage na ito, nakikita ang napakatinding sugal. Kasi wala pa ring katiyakan ang pagka-panalo. Tuloy pa rin ang laban.
Habang mag-syota palang, nariyang nag-kikilanlanan at nag-papakiramdaman ang magka-pareha.
Lumalabas na rin kasi ang mga hindi nakita noong nasa stage palang ng ligawan ng dalawang tao.
Sa puntong ito, magagawa nang sipatin kung ang nakuhang kapareha ay kapana-panalo ba o pang-consolation prize lang.
Patuloy pa rin ang pagsu-sugal ng pag-ibig sa boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
Maaari kasing hindi pa rin ang nakuhang kapareha ang katiyap ng puso.
Kapag nangyari ang incompatibility at hindi nag-tagal ang relasyon, matitiyak na hindi ka panalo sa relasyong pinasukan.
Pero kung nagawa nyong lagpasan ang maraming pagsubok. Nananatili ang pagmamahalan nyo sa isa't isa, makatitiyak na panalo ka sa larangan ng pag-ibig.
Hindi dapat matakot makipag-sugal sa larangan ng pag-ibig ang sinuman. Dahil hindi malalaman ang pagka-panalo o pagka-talo hangga't hindi pumapasok ang sinuman sa isang relasyon.
Matuto kang lumaban at ipaglaban ang pag-ibig higit ang nararamdaman nang sa gayon ay mapag-tagumpayan , mapanatili at mapatatag ang relasyong pinasukan.
Kung hindi naman nanalo sa unang sugal na pinasukan, maaari pa ring lumaban. Patuloy ang laro sa pag-ibig. Hangga't nakakaramdam ng espesyal na damdamin ang isang tao.
Sabi nga; "try and try again until you succeed!" Kung hindi naging matagumpay o hindi ka nanalo sa una, bakit agad susuko. Marami pang pagkakataon.
Maaaring sa susunod ay sadyang akma na sayo ang pinasukang relasyon at tiyak na ang iyong panalo.


_-joshua mendoza-_

maskara!!

My childhood days are my greatest and happiest stage in my life. In this stage, all the things I want, I can easily get. I have my freedom to play, to roam in our community and to join environmental activities. My parents always gives my needs and wants, maybe because I'm only child.
The time comes that the dark clouds cover my life. It makes my whole world darker and dimmer. It is the reason why I need to cover up myself with mask.
When my mother gave birth to my two younger brother and sister, that's the time that the dark clouds cover up my personality. I try my very best so that my parents show my efforts but they always "binabalewala" it. They always give importance to my brother and sister. They always hate me. All the things I do is always wrong/bad in their eyes. I thought I didn't do the right thing. Every time I enter at my school, my classmates told me that I'm always blooming. always happy but they don't know what's the true stories behind those simple smiles and joyous laughter. Until I finished my studies in elementary. I finished elementary that my classmates don't know my true personality.
Entering high school is the hardest thing I did because they didn't sent me in school I want. They sent me in school far from my friends, in school where I didn't know anybody. I try to adjust so that I find new friends. Like elementary, I always cover up myself with simple smiles and joyous laughter, because I don't want to be down by others. I don't bring my problems in school so that I can focus on my studies. High school life, I try to do my best to get medals and honors but I can't. My classmates always told me that I'm ningas cogon; "sa una lang magaling". They always told me that my intelligence and enthusiasms are always at first and it fades away. It hurts me so much but I try to cover it. In short, all my problems, heartache, violent feeling & reactions are all covered with smiles and laughter. At this time, I try to be a BAD BOY. I always live my life the way I want to be. I didn't follow rules even curfews and limitations. Besides that, when I do good, nobody remembers but when I do bad, nobody forgets. I try to escape those problems but GOD always bring it back to me. There are times that I lost my faith in HIM because of those problems I faced. Those problems that try to pull me down. Problems that I try to cover with smiles. I didn't enjoy high school life because of that problems. I try to fit myself in our section but I can't because I thought I don't belong. I thought they always back fight me. Tiniis ko lahat ng 'yon, sabi ko nalang sa sarili ko na: "kaya ko ito at ipapakita ko sa kanila na magagawa ko". I didn't enjoy high school so that it's not hard for me to leave. I thought high school life is the memorable stage but it's not. Maybe because I can't feel the essence of happiness in high school.
Last stage of education; COLLEGE LIFE. Akala ko hindi na ako makakatapak ng kolehiyo. I pass the PUPCET Examination so that my dreams are easily become brighter. Like elementary and high school, I bring my mask that covers me. The mask of killer smiles and joyous laughter. But this time, I try to break that mask. I want to enjoy college life that my classmates didn't back fight me. I want to be true to myself. Gusto ko ng iwan ang nakaraan. Yun bang pag masaya ako, masaya ako. Pag malungkot ako, malungkot ako. Ayoko ng itago yung emosyon ko. Gusto ko ipakita kung sino ako pero natatakot ako. Natatakot ako mapahiyta, natatakot akong mapagtawanan. Takot na ako. I always ask GOD to give me strength and fade my weaknesses.
I am weak.Don't know how to fight. Takot akong lumaban dahil takot akong masaktan. Hope in my future those mask that covers me will fade away and I stand on my own. Stand with confidence. And be true to myself because I know only truth will set me free. Hope in my future, I have my strength to face the truth without any doubt. Face the truth with faith in GOD. Because I know GOD don't want me to pull down. He wants me to learn more about life and He wants me to grow in a right thing. To grow under His laws. GOD loves me so He try me to be unique and He challenge me to be successful human being.


_-joshua mendoza-_